A friend shared a disturbing video with me via whatsup where a young girl (I assume she is Zimbabwean because the women who were with her were conversing in a combination of Shona, Ndebele and English languages) was sitting naked in a car while being assaulted.
In this video the young naked girl (she looks to be in her teens maybe 14/15/16 or thereabouts) is being hit by one woman whilst the other woman video tapes her. The woman hitting her states to the girl ‘you think you can sleep with my husband’ and tells the child to turn around so she can see the buttocks where he likes to #@!$ her, all the while continuing to hit this girl.
It looks as if there is another occupant in the car, I couldn’t tell if he was male, however he doesn’t have his clothes on either. If what the other woman said was true, could that be her husband?
As a woman and a mother, I am deeply distressed by this. What happened to ‘it takes a village?’ If the husband is sleeping with this child then that in of itself is a crime if she is a teenager. How many other young girls has this husband violated? How many of them has this woman helped her husband get rid of through shaming, belittling, threatening, assaulting and humiliating? Is the ultimate message to her husband ‘the girls are the problem?’ Does she feel better? Has the husband stopped stepping out on her?
Newsflash – if someone is going to cheat, then there is absolutely nothing one can do to stop them. It’s about them, not about you – it is about their values, their moral compass, their worldview and their belief system, which is a powerful thing.
You think you can stop your partner from cheating by threatening to beat up the people he/she cheats with?
Good luck with that!
What was the point of the whole video? Was it to educate this young girl? Was it to educate other young people about the consequences of having sex in cars? Perhaps it was to educate husbands with the potential to cheat re: what could happen to the women they cheat with?
If the intent was not malicious:-
a) who is the other naked person in the car and why wasn’t ‘he/she’ also up close and personal?
b) why did we not see the women who were ‘educating’ this girl in the video? We hear their voices clearly, but we do not see their faces… and then
c) why post something like that on social media?
I did not forward the video, instead I deleted it. It saddens me how nowadays people are quick to video tape other people being assaulted, abused, tragedies etc instead of intervening. A house burns down and all you see are people with their cellphones videotaping. Recently a young teenage girl was killed in her school bathroom while fighting over a boy – and there was mention of this incident having been videotaped. I watched an episode on Judge Judy where a young girl was beat up by a young man and the whole thing was video-taped by his friends. What happened to looking out for each other? Why are we ok with posting and watching videos of babies/children/women/men/people being abused and violated? We seem to enjoy other people’s pain – get a few laughs off of somebody else’s tragedy…
Are we losing our humanity or have we always been this way? What does “I’m not a snitch” mean? Does it mean standing by and watching while some injustice is happening?
As women we fought very hard to get our voices; as Black women we continue to fight; most of us endured child abuse and some of our children are enduring the same today. When does it all end? How can two African adult women who grew up with the concept of ‘it takes a village’ do such harm to a young girl? Especially with the plight of the ‘girl child’ – how does the act of permanently shaming this child right the wrongs she may have done? We were young girls once, and most of us know the challenge it was to keep ourselves safe from boys and men once our bodies started developing. As I speak today my 10 year old niece whose body has developed is being taught how to keep herself safe because the boys and men in her neighbourhood have been making comments about her body and have started ‘creeping’ her.
Do you have the whole story regarding this child and your husband?
Please remember you do not have control over anyone other than yourself. You were able to beat up this child because she is a minor and she was naked – the next time your husband cheats on you I hope he finds a woman who will beat you up instead. (I’m sorry I don’t mean that, I just do not like bullies.)
CALL TO ACTION:
The next time you see something happening be it a video forwarded to you or some injustice happening in front of you – what role are you going to play?
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” Desmond Tutu